After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize