Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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