First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize