just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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