When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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