there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
