why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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