New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
