Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
