im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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