didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize