Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
