Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
