so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
