Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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