Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
