i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
