Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
there is glitter all over my balls
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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