Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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