All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
