Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
