I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
