Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
