I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i dont even know how to be here
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
