you traded sex for a burrito?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
