everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
