your parents love me but you hate me
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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