i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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