Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
