i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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