I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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