I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
