Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
