I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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