She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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