Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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