I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
