first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize