i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
