When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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