he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
