Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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