To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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