Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's blow job season.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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