I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
