over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
