You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
