my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
