jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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