Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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