If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
