Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize
