Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize