I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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