You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
