fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
