bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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