I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
