just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize