Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
