Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize