Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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