all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just googled if crying burns calories
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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