Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize