So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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