fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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